she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
