he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
