just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
