I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
