I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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