She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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