How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.