thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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