I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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