Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dicks are not precious.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
