elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
