We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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