Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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