Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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