So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
