i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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