Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize