Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
bring money and cleavage
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
