More tranny stories later!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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