hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize