I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
