i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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