I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
