This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
