the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
