i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
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I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
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He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
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