This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
