I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
