I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
