I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
