i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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