Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
