what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
