I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
