K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
