A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
