good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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