I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
