i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize