If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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