I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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