its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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