Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
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I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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