Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
