I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize