There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
