How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
smell my finger.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
