I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
