is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
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He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
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Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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