Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
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I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
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I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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