you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize