I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize