I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
