I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
