we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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