Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
