we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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