walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
